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Online dating scares

Why Online Dating is So Scary,Dating in General is Scary

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Evaluate the numbers. If your fear of online dating springs from the idea that people will think less of you for using a website to meet a potential partner, remind yourself of the facts. It is a safe and common way to meet others. Make a list of reasons you're valuable. Help build your self-worth by creating a list of things you like about yourself, or that make you worth-while.

Include things you like about your life, your job, your personality, and your appearance. It can be difficult to get this list started, so try asking yourself, "What would my best friend say is my best quality?

If you are body-conscious, try to find at least one thing you like about your appearance. Tell yourself, "I have amazing eyes," and try to focus on that feature that you like rather than what you dislike. Remind yourself of compliments you have received in the past about your eyes and write these down. If you are not currently happy with the course of your life or your career, remind yourself that there is still good in what you do.

Tell yourself, "I can pay my bills and I can find the humor in small things, and that makes my life worthwhile, just as it is.

Eventually, the positive thinking becomes inherent. Brush off rejection. The biggest fear in online dating is the biggest fear people have when dating in general: getting rejected. Remind yourself that if you do not hear back from a potential match, or if your match expresses that they are not interested in you, try not to dwell on the rejection. Remember that rejection is a sign that you are stepping outside of your comfort zone. This could get you blocked or your account suspended, and it will not bring you any closer to having a meaningful relationship.

Tell yourself, "Maybe they decided to get serious with someone they already met. The best way to get past rejection is to meet someone new. Send a message to someone else and work on finding a connection elsewhere. Part 2. Accept your fear. It's alright to have some apprehensions about online dating, just as it is with any form of dating.

The challenge is not to eliminate your fear, but to acknowledge it and find ways to work through it. For each reason, write out a worst-case-scenario. For example, you might be afraid of rejection, and the worst case may be that a match ridicules you for thinking you had a chance with them. For each negative scenario, find a way to overcome it. Let yourself know that someone who ridicules you for approaching them is not worth your time or love, and that you are better off not inviting that kind of negativity into your life.

Set goals. Dating, by its very nature, can involve a lot of emotions very quickly. To avoid becoming swept up in something emotional but not right for you, set goals from the beginning. Decide if you are looking for a serious or casual relationship, and whether you want monogamy or would like to date around. If you meet a great person who wants a serious relationship while you are looking for something casual, don't assume you can change them.

Stick to your goals and move on. Avoid making your goals too rigid. Use them as a guideline for what you want overall, but try to avoid goals like, "I would like to be married within two years. Take care of yourself. You are more likely to feel good about getting involved with someone else when you feel good about your relationship with yourself.

Practice daily self-care, which can include anything from exercise to time to meditate. This may include daily exercise, cooking healthy or satisfying meals, seeing friends or family, or anything else that makes you feel like you are doing the best possible things for you. Take some time to indulge, as well. If you have had a particularly difficult day, for example, rather than letting the stress follow you home, take time to relax and pamper yourself that evening.

This helps let you know that you are worth-it. Part 3. Look for a specialized site. If the thought of thousands of people having access to your profile makes you nervous, look for a compatibility-based site. These sites use algorithms to match you with compatible members, and only those members can see your profile. Be specific. Online dating offers you the unique opportunity to get to know someone before you actually meet them.

Highlight your personality. Think about those first-date facts, the details you would use to set you apart when you first meet someone, and put them in your profile. Post one picture. This is no more true than posting your image to social media, but if putting your face on an online dating site makes you nervous, start by posting just one photo of yourself.

Try to avoid pictures where your face is obstructed. If posting a group photo makes you feel more comfortable, be sure to clarify which person you are in your profile or in a caption.

Part 4. Move off the dating website. Before you meet in person, move your communication off of the dating website. You may opt to video chat, text, or exchange calls before the date, but moving your communication to a new platform can help you feel more secure before meeting this person.

This gives you a way to communicate to plan the date, as well as check up on their contact information. Keep it casual. Avoid meals or activities like movies that happen for a fixed period of time. Avoid loud venues or activities that will keep you too occupied to chat. If you are greatly enjoying the date, you can stay for another cup or drink, or transition the date into a new activity such as dinner or a walk. Meet in public. Arrange to meet in a public place such as a popular coffee shop or bar.

If your match asks you meet in private or at their house, refuse completely. Let them know that you are only comfortable meeting in public for a first date. Have a signal such as a text you can send to a friend to let them know if you feel unsafe or want their help exiting the date. Give it a couple meetings before you let them know where you live. Did you know you can get expert answers for this article?

Unlock expert answers by supporting wikiHow. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD Licensed Psychologist. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer. Yes No. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 2. It requires us to put ourselves out there for people to accept or reject us. Anyone that tells you that is not scary is either a superhero or might be fibbing to you and themselves. The good news is that online dating helps to soften some of the issues you find with traditional dating.

First, approaching people to get dates in person is hard. With online dating, though, they have functions to help you put yourself out there in a much less vulnerable way. For example, certain sites will allow you to wink or flirt with other members. This is as simple as clicking a button and it sends a notification to someone that you might be interested. Worried about what to say? In person, there are no do-overs.

Online, though, you can take your time with your first few messages and really set a nice first impression. Nothing will make dating completely scare-free. But, online dating will help to make things a lot simpler and allow you to interact without putting yourself out there as much as you would have to with dating in person. We want to close this post by letting you know that being scared to date online is ok. The reward for the risk can be incredible. Would you be willing to be a little scared if it meant finding the love of your life?

We bet you would. Would you be willing to be a little nervous if it meant happiness for the rest of your life? The fear is normal. We have free trials in place for you where you can walk through the entire site and see what matches are available.

Written By: Jason Lee. Jason Lee is a data analyst with a passion for studying online dating, relationships, personal growth, healthcare, and finance. In , Jason earned a Bachelors of Science from the University of Florida, where he studied business and finance and taught interpersonal communication.

His work has been featured in the likes of The USA Today, MSN, NBC, FOX, The Motley Fool, Net Health, and The Simple Dollar. As a business owner, relationship strategist, dating coach, and officer in the U.

military, Jason enjoys sharing his unique knowledge base with the rest of the world. Research Online Dating Usage Study Marriage and Divorce Rate Trends Best Cities for Singles Online Dating by the Numbers Best Dating Apps Articles Anniversary Gifts Beginner Dating Advice General Dating Advice First Date Advice Religious Dating Advice Single Parent Dating Site Bios and Features Resources Reviews All Reviews Catholic Match Christian Mingle eHarmony Elite Singles JDate SilverSingles The League Zoosk Free Trials All Free Trials Catholic Match Christian Mingle eHarmony Elite Singles JDate SilverSingles The League Zoosk Costs All Costs Catholic Match Christian Mingle eHarmony Elite Singles JDate SilverSingles The League Zoosk Other Relationship Butler Dating Site Comparisons Where to Meet Singles — By City How We Rank — Review Criteria About Get Our Free Newsletter About Our Team Blog Privacy Policy TOS and Cookies Contact Us Get Updates.

Written By: Jason Lee Jason Lee is a data analyst with a passion for studying online dating, relationships, personal growth, healthcare, and finance.

Last Updated: January 24, References. This article was co-authored by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, Psy. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience.

She received her Psy. from the Florida Institute of Technology in She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.

There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 35, times. Online dating is an increasingly common way to meet new potential romantic partners. Still, some find that they fear online dating because it puts too much personal information out there for strangers, or that it otherwise sets them up to meet unpleasant or unappealing matches.

The truth is, though, that online dating is as safe and enjoyable as any other form of dating, as long as you pick the right site, put some effort into meeting the right matches, and practice safety when meeting in person for the first time. Log in Social login does not work in incognito and private browsers. Please log in with your username or email to continue. wikiHow Account.

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Cookie Settings. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Learn why people trust wikiHow. Categories Relationships Dating Online Dating How to Overcome a Fear of Online Dating. Download Article Explore this Article parts. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Co-authored by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD Last Updated: January 24, References.

Part 1. Evaluate the numbers. If your fear of online dating springs from the idea that people will think less of you for using a website to meet a potential partner, remind yourself of the facts.

It is a safe and common way to meet others. Make a list of reasons you're valuable. Help build your self-worth by creating a list of things you like about yourself, or that make you worth-while. Include things you like about your life, your job, your personality, and your appearance.

It can be difficult to get this list started, so try asking yourself, "What would my best friend say is my best quality? If you are body-conscious, try to find at least one thing you like about your appearance. Tell yourself, "I have amazing eyes," and try to focus on that feature that you like rather than what you dislike.

Remind yourself of compliments you have received in the past about your eyes and write these down. If you are not currently happy with the course of your life or your career, remind yourself that there is still good in what you do. Tell yourself, "I can pay my bills and I can find the humor in small things, and that makes my life worthwhile, just as it is. Eventually, the positive thinking becomes inherent. Brush off rejection.

The biggest fear in online dating is the biggest fear people have when dating in general: getting rejected. Remind yourself that if you do not hear back from a potential match, or if your match expresses that they are not interested in you, try not to dwell on the rejection.

Remember that rejection is a sign that you are stepping outside of your comfort zone. This could get you blocked or your account suspended, and it will not bring you any closer to having a meaningful relationship. Tell yourself, "Maybe they decided to get serious with someone they already met. The best way to get past rejection is to meet someone new. Send a message to someone else and work on finding a connection elsewhere. Part 2. Accept your fear.

It's alright to have some apprehensions about online dating, just as it is with any form of dating. The challenge is not to eliminate your fear, but to acknowledge it and find ways to work through it. For each reason, write out a worst-case-scenario. For example, you might be afraid of rejection, and the worst case may be that a match ridicules you for thinking you had a chance with them.

For each negative scenario, find a way to overcome it. Let yourself know that someone who ridicules you for approaching them is not worth your time or love, and that you are better off not inviting that kind of negativity into your life. Set goals. Dating, by its very nature, can involve a lot of emotions very quickly. To avoid becoming swept up in something emotional but not right for you, set goals from the beginning. Decide if you are looking for a serious or casual relationship, and whether you want monogamy or would like to date around.

If you meet a great person who wants a serious relationship while you are looking for something casual, don't assume you can change them. Stick to your goals and move on. Avoid making your goals too rigid. Use them as a guideline for what you want overall, but try to avoid goals like, "I would like to be married within two years. Take care of yourself. You are more likely to feel good about getting involved with someone else when you feel good about your relationship with yourself.

Practice daily self-care, which can include anything from exercise to time to meditate. This may include daily exercise, cooking healthy or satisfying meals, seeing friends or family, or anything else that makes you feel like you are doing the best possible things for you.

Take some time to indulge, as well. If you have had a particularly difficult day, for example, rather than letting the stress follow you home, take time to relax and pamper yourself that evening.

This helps let you know that you are worth-it. Part 3. Look for a specialized site. If the thought of thousands of people having access to your profile makes you nervous, look for a compatibility-based site. These sites use algorithms to match you with compatible members, and only those members can see your profile.

Be specific. Online dating offers you the unique opportunity to get to know someone before you actually meet them. Highlight your personality. Think about those first-date facts, the details you would use to set you apart when you first meet someone, and put them in your profile. Post one picture.

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AdReal Singles. No Games No Gimmicks! Meaningful Relationships Start Here. Start Living and Meet Amazing 40+ Men. Isn't it Time to Embrace Your Moment?blogger.com has been visited by 10K+ users in the past monthSimple Matching Process · % Satisfaction · Single Men & Women · Guaranteed DatesTypes: Singles Over 40, Seniors Dating, Mature Singles AdCompare & Try The Best Online Dating Sites To Find Love In - Join Today! Online Dating Has Already Changed The Lives of Millions of People. Join TodayService catalog: Video Chat, See Profiles, Find Singles Nearby, Match with Locals AdDating, Never Been Easier! All The Options are Wating For You in One blogger.com in Your Area · Dating Sites Comparison · Start Dating Online! · Meet Canadian SinglesTypes: All Ages Dating Sites, Senior Dating Sites, Gay Dating Sites ... read more

This may include daily exercise, cooking healthy or satisfying meals, seeing friends or family, or anything else that makes you feel like you are doing the best possible things for you. Accept your fear. Should we all just run for the hills and hide from every online dating site on the planet? Arts and Entertainment Finance and Business Home and Garden Relationship Quizzes. Courses New Tech Help Pro New Expert Videos About wikiHow Pro Coupons Quizzes Upgrade Sign In. Within those 20 years, it has grown from its primitive days to what it is today. Did this article help you?

Remind yourself of compliments you have received in the past about your eyes and write these down. You are more likely to feel good about getting involved with someone else when you feel good about your relationship with yourself. Online dating scares if you are looking for a serious or casual relationship, and whether you want monogamy or would like to date around. Set goals, online dating scares. Computers and Electronics Health Pets and Animals Travel. The fear is normal.

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